You Are My Biggest Fear

I can honestly say that I am afraid of people. My fear of what other people think has sometimes stopped me from speaking my truth, living my truth and being authentically me.

And at this point in my life, I am sick and tired of worrying about what other people think. My fearful obsession of other people has created a reality for me that isn’t even mines. I am literally living in someone else’s box. I can’t step beyond the borders because I‘m afraid of being judged, criticized and shamed for making a mistake.

 Now what kind of life is that-

It isn’t much of a life.

So, how do I get over this fear? How do I stop shrinking in the presence of others?

Will smith once said in an interview, there is a redemptive power in making a choice… Just decide what it’s going to be, who you’re to be and how you’re going to do it and the Universe will move out your way.

Mahatma Ghandi so eloquently said, “Your beliefs become your thoughts. Your thoughts become your words. Your words become your actions.”

I realized I must make a conscious choice to believe something different. Other people’s opinion of me does not have to become my reality (-Les Brown). 

And when I really think about the fear I experience, I realize it isn’t real. It is a story I am telling myself based on what I think people are going to say. I talk myself out of doing what I know I should do, because of these false narratives.

Intellectually I know fear is just False Evidence Appearing Real. I mean I’ve heard the acronym more times than I can count.

It’s funny how you know the right thing to do but you don’t always apply what you know. Sometimes you just get caught up in the bullshit of life and must find your way back. I just need to find my way back; this fear is just a temporary thing.

The Parable of the Man in the Hole

There was a man walking along a country road and suddenly he fell into a dark, dusty hole. He immediately picked himself up and begin yelling for help. After an hour of yelling, he gave up. He sat in the dark waiting for someone to save him. After several days, someone heard him moaning, and helped him out of the hole.

Another man was walking along the same road and he too suddenly fell into the dark, dusty hole. He immediately picked himself up and begin yelling for help. When no one heard his cries, he got on his hands and knees and begin feeling around the dirty cave floor for something he could use to get himself out. To his surprise he found a flashlight. The light illuminated the hole, and he was able to find a small crawl space which led him back to the surface.

Cosmic Questions

When life hits you hard do you wait for someone to save you or do you save yourself?

How long do you stay down when experiencing a setback?

When you experience a setback, what resources do you rely on to create new opportunities?

Parable of the Old Man

Before Sodom was destroyed an old man visited the town. He walked around trying to encourage the people to change their ways but not a soul would listen.

So, he decided to make a sign. In big bold letters he wrote the word “Repent.” He carried the sign day and night but again the people refused to listen.

So, he decided to take a more drastic approach. He ran up and down the streets yelling, “Repent! Repent! What you’re doing is wrong! If you don’t stop, you will die!” Again no one listened. Yet, he didn’t stop. He kept on running and yelling, “Repent!”

Finally, a local man stopped him on the street and asked, “Can’t you see no one is listening.”

The old man replied, ” Yes, I know.”

Confused the local man asked, “So, why on earth do you keep yelling?”

“At first I tried to change the people, now I run up and down the streets yelling so they don’t change me.”

A New Way Being

Have you ever had a moment in your life, where everything you touched turned to gold?

My magical year was 2009-2010. I wish I could go back and relive that year but unfortunately, I can’t.

Living in the past is not doing anything for me in the present. I realize, I will stay disappointed if I continuously try to recreate a moment that is simply a memory.

I now understand that I should use the memory as motivation and inspiration to create a new way of being in the NOW.

So. to stay present to my light, I’ve decided to create a new possibility for myself and my life as I approach my 47th birthday.

Written with power and passion.

Spoken with power and passion.

I am the possibility of experiencing joy in every moment of my life.

Namaste🙏🏽

Untitled (2-22-08)

In our relationship

I was trying to be God

I wanted to breathe life into your soul

Correct all your flaws

Shape and mold you into the man

I deemed perfect for me

I was obsessed

Constantly thinking about

Who you should

And could not be

But who was I

To judge

Who was I

To criticize

And attempt to recreate

God’s divine masterpiece

Who was I

That I could not accept

You

The man who was created

With no imperfections

But was born

Perfect

Whole

And complete

I was trying to be God

I couldn’t love you

Because I was living in the context of me

Leave My Sh!t Alone

1 in 4 women have experienced rape or attempted rape during their lifetimes, according to several national U.S. surveys. *MeToo Movement

So what I went to your house at 1:00 in the morning

So what I traveled from Brooklyn to Queens

Because I believed you when you said all we gonna do is watch a little TV

So what I felt comfortable in your space and fell asleep on your sheets

And so what, I only knew you for about two weeks

Still I didn’t give you permission to fu<k with my sh!t

*

So what I believed in your silky smooth words

That was hot enough to melt my heart and put my trust in you

So what I believed I would be safe in your space

Because of all the hours we spent texting on the phone

So what my stupidity got the best of me

And I was seduced by your charm rather than your sincerity

Still I didn’t give you permission to fu<k with my sh!t

*

Did it make you more of a man to startle me in my sleep

Because you experienced a rise between your thighs

Did it make you more of a man

To ignore the tears streaming in my cries

Did it make you more of a man

To take what God blessed as mines

Will if it did

I’m sorry for denying you the diamonds between my thighs

Because I didn’t know it was my duty to give up the booty

Still I didn’t give you permission to fu<k with my sh!t

*

So what I went to your house at 1:00 in the morning

Does that fact acquit you of your sin

Does time make it okay for you to fu<k with my stuff

And expect me to keep it on the hush hush

Does my gullibility make you the victim and me the villain

Well if it does, I’m sorry for hurting you

For wounding your manhood because I was misunderstood

I sorry for being the B!tch that wouldn’t willingly except your golden d!ck

Next time , just leave my sh!t alone

2 Daily Rituals to Detox Your Energetic Body

A cosmic cleansing is a spiritual cleansing of your energetic body. Why is it important? As an energetic being you are constantly interacting with other energetic beings. Hence, you are exchanging both positive and negative energy.  Unfortunately, the negative or “dirty energy” becomes a part of your energetic field as well as the positive.

Sometimes you create the negative energy within yourself. This happens when you hold on to negative thoughts, beliefs, and emotions for a sustained period.

Dirty energy causes prana or life force energy to become stagnate. Hence, your chakras cannot properly function. If the energetic body is not healthy, it will manifest in your physical body as fatigue, stress, anxiety and in extreme cases a chronic illness.

A cosmic cleansing three or four times a week will help to detoxify your energetic body. If you work in a highly stressed environment (hospital, prison, court, school) you may want to cleanse every day.  The energy you bring home not only affects you but your family.

Cleansing your energetic body balances your chakras helping you to feel relaxed, and revitalized. Your aura is also strengthened therefore increasing your energetic vibration and connection to your higher self.

Sage

Releasing negative energy with sage is a simple yet powerful ritual. Like any spiritual ritual you must be intentional. Be aware of the energy you want to clear as you cleanse.

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

What emotions, thoughts or beliefs do you want to release?

If you are unsure you can tell the sage to, “Disintegrate and transmute any negative emotions, thoughts and beliefs preventing me from connecting to my higher self.”

So how do you smudge with sage? Light the sage and allow it to burn until there is a good amount of smoke. Starting at the crown chakra or the top of your head allow the smoke to engulf all parts of your body. Think of the sage as spiritual soap. When you are cleansing your physical body you clean your face, chest, back, arms, legs, feet etc. Do they same with the sage.

Salt

Cleansing with salt is another simple yet powerful ritual you can use to cleanse. This may be a little off topic, but holy water is salt water that has been prayed over by a priest which means these two elements are sacred.

Photo by Castorly Stock on Pexels.com

Using salt scrubs is my personal go to, whenever I need a cosmic cleansing. It is not only detoxifying to the physical body but the energetic body as well.

To create your salt scrub, you will need Epsom or Himalayan Pink salt, olive oil , essential oils and a coffee grinder. Please adjust the measurements and oils to create a scrub that suits your personal taste.

1 cup of salt (Grind Epsom or Himalayan Pink salt to a fine powder)

1/3 cup of Extra Virgin Olive oil

5 drops of lavender

2 drops of tea tree

Other great oils: spikenard, hyssop, frankincense, myrrh

So how do you use the salt scrub to cleanse? Cleanse your physical body as normal. Once you are done, begin cleaning your body with the scrub. Do not forget the bottom of your feet and do not use the scrub on your face. Remember to be intentional as you cleanse. Last, stand under the shower and allow all the dirty energy to go down the drain.

Cosmic Afterthought

Since I have been using these rituals to clean my energetic body, I have experienced greater joy, clarity of thought and heightened intuition. I even look and feel younger. So, giving my spiritual body a little cosmic TLC has been a blessing.

I know it will be for you as well.🙏🏽

Cosmic Questions

What emotions, thoughts or beliefs will you intentionally clear?

How often will you cleanse your energetic body?