An Attitude of Gratitude

I remember saying the same simple prayer as a child before I went to sleep, “ God I thank you for my mother, grandmother, little sister and brothers.  I thank you for the clothes on my back.  The food you put on the table and the roof over my head. Amen” 

As a little girl, I was grateful for my family, the gift of being alive, taken care of and loved by God. But somewhere along my path, life, food, shelter and love was not enough, I wanted more. I couldn’t appreciate what was in front of me because my attention was focused on what I lacked.

There is a quote I love by Deepak Chopra,  “The past is history, the future a mystery and this moment is a gift. That is why it is called the present.”  Every moment that I am alive and breathing is a blessing. Life is God’s gift. The present moment is God’s gift.

So I’ve decided to be grateful for the present moment because it is the “space” where I can appreciate God’s blessings.

Inspired by Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, The Four Agreements, I decided to create my own agreements. It is my goal to be mindful of each agreement for thirty days so that they will become an unconscious habit.

First Agreement: The most important person in my life is the person I am talking to right now.  I will not judge, criticize or complain about what they are saying or doing.  I will send them loving energy and be grateful for just being in their presence. I will not think about the fifty million things I need to be doing. I will not check my email or social media. I will give that person my complete attention. 

Second Agreement: The most important thing that I am doing is right now.  I will not complain or wish that I were doing something other than what I am doing.  I will love, play and simply enjoy the moment.

Third Agreement: The most important action I can take in this moment is one of self-love.  I will love myself even when I make a mistake. I will focus on the positive. I will celebrate my accomplishments big or small. I will be grateful for being me.

Cosmic Love

They synergy of our energy

Is breath-taking

I stand in awe of who we’ve become

It’s a way of being that is beyond

The vibes of this dimension

You are seriously everything

Yet nothing to me

It’s unexplainable

This becoming

Of oneness

This present moment bliss

You complement the mystery

Of who I am

There’s a knowing

That existed before this time

And the closer

We are

The clearer the vision

Of yesterday’s love

A familiar feeling

Yet, an unexplainable

Bliss

You Are My Biggest Fear

I can honestly say that I am afraid of people. My fear of what other people think has sometimes stopped me from speaking my truth, living my truth and being authentically me.

And at this point in my life, I am sick and tired of worrying about what other people think. My fearful obsession of other people has created a reality for me that isn’t even mines. I am literally living in someone else’s box. I can’t step beyond the borders because I‘m afraid of being judged, criticized and shamed for making a mistake.

 Now what kind of life is that-

It isn’t much of a life.

So, how do I get over this fear? How do I stop shrinking in the presence of others?

Will Smith once said in an interview, there is a redemptive power in making a choice… Just decide what it’s going to be, who you’re to be and how you’re going to do it and the Universe will move out your way.

Mahatma Ghandi so eloquently said, “Your beliefs become your thoughts. Your thoughts become your words. Your words become your actions.”

I realized I must make a conscious choice to believe something different. Other people’s opinion of me does not have to become my reality (-Les Brown). 

And when I really think about the fear I experience, I realize it isn’t real. It is a story I am telling myself based on what I think people are going to say. I talk myself out of doing what I know I should do, because of these false narratives.

Intellectually I know fear is just False Evidence Appearing Real. I mean I’ve heard the acronym more times than I can count.

It’s funny how you know the right thing to do but you don’t always apply what you know. Sometimes you just get caught up in the bullshit of life and must find your way back. I just need to find my way back; this fear is just a temporary thing.

Parable of the Old Man

Before Sodom was destroyed an old man visited the town. He walked around trying to encourage the people to change their ways but not a soul would listen.

So, he decided to make a sign. In big bold letters he wrote the word “Repent.” He carried the sign day and night but again the people refused to listen.

So, he decided to take a more drastic approach. He ran up and down the streets yelling, “Repent! Repent! What you’re doing is wrong! If you don’t stop, you will die!” Again no one listened. Yet, he didn’t stop. He kept on running and yelling, “Repent!”

Finally, a local man stopped him on the street and asked, “Can’t you see no one is listening.”

The old man replied, ” Yes, I know.”

Confused the local man asked, “So, why on earth do you keep yelling?”

“At first I tried to change the people, now I run up and down the streets yelling so they don’t change me.”

A New Way Being

Have you ever had a moment in your life, where everything you touched turned to gold?

My magical year was 2009-2010. I wish I could go back and relive that year but unfortunately, I can’t.

Living in the past is not doing anything for me in the present. I realize, I will stay disappointed if I continuously try to recreate a moment that is simply a memory.

I now understand that I should use the memory as motivation and inspiration to create a new way of being in the NOW.

So. to stay present to my light, I’ve decided to create a new possibility for myself and my life as I approach my 47th birthday.

Written with power and passion.

Spoken with power and passion.

I am the possibility of experiencing joy in every moment of my life.

Namaste🙏🏽

Untitled (2-22-08)

In our relationship

I was trying to be God

I wanted to breathe life into your soul

Correct all your flaws

Shape and mold you into the man

I deemed perfect for me

I was obsessed

Constantly thinking about

Who you should

And could not be

But who was I

To judge

Who was I

To criticize

And attempt to recreate

God’s divine masterpiece

Who was I

That I could not accept

You

The man who was created

With no imperfections

But was born

Perfect

Whole

And complete

I was trying to be God

I couldn’t love you

Because I was living in the context of me