Why Is This Happening to Me? Surviving A Tower Moment

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There was a moment in my life where I didn’t question what was possible for myself and my life. I wanted something, did what was necessary to get it. I didn’t worry about how or when it was going to happen. I just knew that it was. It seemed like anything was within my reach, if I just reached out and grabbed it. But that’s not where I am now.

Now, it seems like I am living in a state of impossibility. I want something, I do what is necessary to get what I want, but now I’m trying to control when and how it’s going to happen. I have lost patience and find myself spiraling down a rabbit hole of fear, worry, and negativity. I ask myself, how did I get here? When did I start believing in impossibility instead of possibility?

Looking back, I realize it started the moment my life began to fall apart all at once. It was my “Tower” moment. I was at a high and now I was at a low, and I couldn’t believe all of this was happening to me. My brother was tragically murdered, I was let go from my job, and I was having problems in my marriage. This series of unfortunate events sent me down a dark path of depression.

This moment in my life left me wounded, insecure, and feeling like I had no control over my life. Despite making significant changes in my life to heal, I am still allowing the scars to control my life. I am still living in the shadow of my “Tower” moment.

So now, where do I go from here? I believe it’s about taking control of my life and not allowing the wounds of my past to control who I am to become. The second thing I must do is understand that I can’t do anything alone. I control what I can, but I must also allow the Universe and my spirit guides to do their perfect work. I realize living in possibility means believing in something far greater than myself. It is beyond what my human mind can comprehend. It is a knowing that everything is going to work out in divine time.

I have come to understand that there might be “Tower” moments that happen while living in a space between wanting something and receiving it. I’ve learning not to be consumed emotionally by these moments because they will take me down a dark path, prolonging what I really want. Instead, I’m utilizing my spiritual tools like prayer and meditation to keep me on an auspicious path.

This is the space I want to live and thrive. Though I understand it won’t be easy, I am determined to find my way. I am committed to rediscovering faith in the realm of possibilities.

An Attitude of Gratitude

I remember saying the same simple prayer as a child before I went to sleep, “ God I thank you for my mother, grandmother, little sister and brothers.  I thank you for the clothes on my back.  The food you put on the table and the roof over my head. Amen” 

As a little girl, I was grateful for my family, the gift of being alive, taken care of and loved by God. But somewhere along my path, life, food, shelter and love was not enough, I wanted more. I couldn’t appreciate what was in front of me because my attention was focused on what I lacked.

There is a quote I love by Deepak Chopra,  “The past is history, the future a mystery and this moment is a gift. That is why it is called the present.”  Every moment that I am alive and breathing is a blessing. Life is God’s gift. The present moment is God’s gift.

So I’ve decided to be grateful for the present moment because it is the “space” where I can appreciate God’s blessings.

Inspired by Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, The Four Agreements, I decided to create my own agreements. It is my goal to be mindful of each agreement for thirty days so that they will become an unconscious habit.

First Agreement: The most important person in my life is the person I am talking to right now.  I will not judge, criticize or complain about what they are saying or doing.  I will send them loving energy and be grateful for just being in their presence. I will not think about the fifty million things I need to be doing. I will not check my email or social media. I will give that person my complete attention. 

Second Agreement: The most important thing that I am doing is right now.  I will not complain or wish that I were doing something other than what I am doing.  I will love, play and simply enjoy the moment.

Third Agreement: The most important action I can take in this moment is one of self-love.  I will love myself even when I make a mistake. I will focus on the positive. I will celebrate my accomplishments big or small. I will be grateful for being me.

Cosmic Love

They synergy of our energy

Is breath-taking

I stand in awe of who we’ve become

It’s a way of being that is beyond

The vibes of this dimension

You are seriously everything

Yet nothing to me

It’s unexplainable

This becoming

Of oneness

This present moment bliss

You complement the mystery

Of who I am

There’s a knowing

That existed before this time

And the closer

We are

The clearer the vision

Of yesterday’s love

A familiar feeling

Yet, an unexplainable

Bliss

Parable of the Old Man

Before Sodom was destroyed an old man visited the town. He walked around trying to encourage the people to change their ways but not a soul would listen.

So, he decided to make a sign. In big bold letters he wrote the word “Repent.” He carried the sign day and night but again the people refused to listen.

So, he decided to take a more drastic approach. He ran up and down the streets yelling, “Repent! Repent! What you’re doing is wrong! If you don’t stop, you will die!” Again no one listened. Yet, he didn’t stop. He kept on running and yelling, “Repent!”

Finally, a local man stopped him on the street and asked, “Can’t you see no one is listening.”

The old man replied, ” Yes, I know.”

Confused the local man asked, “So, why on earth do you keep yelling?”

“At first I tried to change the people, now I run up and down the streets yelling so they don’t change me.”

2 Daily Rituals to Detox Your Energetic Body

A cosmic cleansing is a spiritual cleansing of your energetic body. Why is it important? As an energetic being you are constantly interacting with other energetic beings. Hence, you are exchanging both positive and negative energy.  Unfortunately, the negative or “dirty energy” becomes a part of your energetic field as well as the positive.

Sometimes you create the negative energy within yourself. This happens when you hold on to negative thoughts, beliefs, and emotions for a sustained period.

Dirty energy causes prana or life force energy to become stagnate. Hence, your chakras cannot properly function. If the energetic body is not healthy, it will manifest in your physical body as fatigue, stress, anxiety and in extreme cases a chronic illness.

A cosmic cleansing three or four times a week will help to detoxify your energetic body. If you work in a highly stressed environment (hospital, prison, court, school) you may want to cleanse every day.  The energy you bring home not only affects you but your family.

Cleansing your energetic body balances your chakras helping you to feel relaxed, and revitalized. Your aura is also strengthened therefore increasing your energetic vibration and connection to your higher self.

Sage

Releasing negative energy with sage is a simple yet powerful ritual. Like any spiritual ritual you must be intentional. Be aware of the energy you want to clear as you cleanse.

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What emotions, thoughts or beliefs do you want to release?

If you are unsure, you can tell the sage to, “Disintegrate and transmute any negative emotions, thoughts and beliefs preventing me from connecting to my higher self.”

So how do you smudge with sage? Light the sage and allow it to burn until there is a good amount of smoke. Starting at the crown chakra or the top of your head allow the smoke to engulf all parts of your body. Think of the sage as spiritual soap. When you are cleansing your physical body you clean your face, chest, back, arms, legs, feet etc. Do they same with the sage.

Salt

Cleansing with salt is another simple yet powerful ritual you can use to cleanse. This may be a little off topic, but holy water is salt water that has been prayed over by a priest which means these two elements are sacred.

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Using salt scrubs is my personal go to, whenever I need a cosmic cleansing. It is not only detoxifying to the physical body but the energetic body as well.

To create your salt scrub, you will need Epsom or Himalayan Pink salt, olive oil , essential oils and a coffee grinder. Please adjust the measurements and oils to create a scrub that suits your personal taste.

1 cup of salt (Grind Epsom or Himalayan Pink salt to a fine powder)

1/3 cup of Extra Virgin Olive oil

5 drops of lavender

2 drops of tea tree

Other great oils: spikenard, hyssop, frankincense, myrrh

So how do you use the salt scrub to cleanse? Cleanse your physical body as normal. Once you are done, begin cleaning your body with the scrub. Do not forget the bottom of your feet and do not use the scrub on your face. Remember to be intentional as you cleanse. Lastly, stand under the shower and allow all the dirty energy to go down the drain.

Cosmic Afterthought

Since I have been using these rituals to clean my energetic body, I have experienced greater joy, clarity of thought and heightened intuition. I even look and feel younger. So, giving my spiritual body a little cosmic TLC has been a blessing.

I know it will be for you as well.🙏🏽

Cosmic Questions

What emotions, thoughts or beliefs will you intentionally clear?

How often will you cleanse your energetic body?

We Are One

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We are all uniquely different

But the heart of who we are

As cosmic beings is the same

We all share the same story

We all want to feel we matter

We all want to feel a sense of belonging

And we all want to be loved

I believe

When we are vulnerable

About who we are

And what we want

We can heal

And transform

Ourselves

And others

Transcending

To a higher state

Of consciousness